Last saturday we had a little family gathering, since we didn't have one in the actual holidays, with the yummiest vegetable soup made by moi and my monsieur, the best bread in the world, great talks and a lovely walk in the woods! I got to pat my sister in law's pregnant tummy and yesterday I found out I'm going to be auntie of a little dude! Of course I'm happy but come to think of it, I don't think I really care whether it's a girl or a boy. It might be a little bit of a new experience since I already have 2 nieces so a little nephew is exciting. It doesn't really matter though, does it?
I mean, when you think about it, the only difference between a boy and a girl when they're born, it's the thing between their legs. No predisposed love for playing with cars or dolls, no particular love for blue or pink and no eagerness to either become a supermodel or a starathlete. The only difference: penis or vagina. It's the nurture and not the nature that takes care of all the gender related issues. Since becoming more aware of all the gender/sex discrimination in our society I have promised my future, optional child(ren) not to bother them with gender-related prejudices. Having a boy doesn't mean he'll love soccer and having a girl doesn't mean she won't. I have great love and passion for art/painting, photography, animation movies, martial arts/action movies, classical music, rock music, feminism, skepticism, videogames and the occasional fire for the Dutch soccer team lights up during championships (during that time I also love mucking around in the garden with a soccerball with the boyfriend). When I was a little girl, I loved playing with barbiedolls. But also with lego. I loved looking for big enough sticks in the garden that could be a sword, playing I was 'The Hero of Time' and I had to go and save Princess Zelda. And the love for pretend-sword fighting never died, I still do it occasionally with the boyfriend. :-D
I'm not bashing on people who buy little blue hats for the little boys or little princess dresses for the little girls. I very well know that people only do that because "that's what you do". But I don't think it causes any harm to raise awareness about how early these "gender defining" things start. If I ever have any biological children I probably won't tell anyone the sex and will specifically ask them to just give them what they'd want to share with the child, not what they want to share particularly with a girl or a boy. For example: my brothers are crazy about Dutch soccer, in particular the Amsterdam team, Ajax. I would just as well want them to share that love with my daughter as with my son. They did with me and my sister and we still occasionally burst out into Dutch soccer love at the championships. My sister & me are hardcore feminists, we try to promote a positive body image, big anime fans and I would share that just as much with a boy as with a girl (as everyone should! I can't believe there are people who say that they aren't feminist while being feminist solely means that you are in favor of complete equal rights, no matter what sex/gender. You're basically evil to me if you say you don't want that).
I'm nearly done with this rant, I promise, but I want to give you something to think about. If you have a child, you can only give it your own last name (the mother's last name) if a) you're not married or b) you've been divorced for over 300 days here in Belgium. So if me and my guy get married and have a kid, we can't choose for it to get my last name. In the Netherlands we can but not in Belgium. Even giving the kid joined last names like "... philips-evans" isn't legal yet. This kind of shocked me when I read it, I mean, SEXIST MUCH?! My man's last name is HELLA long and mine is simple as hell so we'd choose the last name on that practical note but hey, that's not even freaking legal in Belgium.
Now the outfit pictures!
Annebeth, for taking these lovely pictures! And a picture of me & my terribly handsome siblings, oldest brother Maarten not included! Not because he's not handsome but because he lives somewhere far, far away. :-D