I've had it happen a bunch of times: someone I know notices I lost some weight and they go into SUPER HAPPY mode. "That's so great for you! You're looking GOOD!". Now, I know they mean well. I know they just mean that I look good. Or something. But let me tell you why I lost weight recently.
My father didn't want to live anymore so he was euthanised and I broke up with my boyfriend. I DO NOT HAVE AN APPETITE AND I'M STRESSED THE FUCK OUT. I only lose weight when I'm stressed out. Normally I have a totally steady, chubby weight. And I feel fine with my weight. If I didn't I would hope that I'd want to lose weight because I wanted to be healthier or maybe because I found a sport I liked (doubtful). People never give a fuck whether you're losing weight because you're stressed out, working out or simply stick a finger down your throat. All they see is a chubby girl. And hey, you can't possibly be happy with yourself when you're, god forbid, not skinny. Today was not a good day for me. Yesterday was, today not so much. I was THIS close *holds index finger and thumb one millimeter apart* to screaming "WELL, WOOPTIEFUCKINGDOO, I'm glad my miserable life made me lose my appetite and come closer to your beautystandards!". I'm eating enough, don't worry, I've never had a bad relationship with food. I love food, food loves me. I just feel like my tastebuds are on vacation and there's a brick in my stomach, permanently. I eat enough to get through the day but I don't enjoy food. I miss it :-(. It comes back when I feel better but today was not a good day, as I already said. Also, I love how people always imply that, if you lose weight, you MUST look better than before you lost the weight. Now they say "You look GOOD!". Well did I look like a freaking dog 8 pounds ago?! I'll be saying it a lot: BAH, humbug.
After the rant, let me think of good things. My mom made good soup and I took a nice nap while watching "Milk". Not because it was boring actually, I really liked it and I plan to watch it and not fall asleep tomorrow. The nap was still nice though. I totally dig "Game of Thrones" and I have all kinds of crushes on The Imp, the Khaleesi and Ed Stark. Well, I don't really have a crush on Ed but he's so handsome and righteous. I love Boromir <3
"Lord of the rings" has all kinds of crushes for me too. Sam and Frodo as my favorite couple, in my head they got married at the end of the story. I used to love Aragorn and Legolas (every teen girl was totally into Orlando Bloom back in the day) but Sam is my one true love. I'm not sure why because he's not really sexy or super handsome but there's something about him that makes me melt.
ADORKABLE. Speaking of adorkable, a special mentioning for Nicholas Hoult because he's gorgeous and because "About A Boy" is one of my favorite movies of all time.
I don't really dig him older than this (super creepy, I know) but on some pictures he has a bit of Kevin Bacon going on, my sisters favorite. Compare River:
Looking at hot men is a good pick-me-up. Now I'm sleepy so I'm going to bed. I'll keep you posted!
I love your sense of humor even when life is shitty. You are a really cool chick and I dig you as you are :)
BeantwoordenVerwijderenALL OF THESE MEN ARE WORTHY. Particularly Samwise, but I'm an Aragorn kind of lady myself. Mmmm yeah. He can ride me to Rohan anyday. OOH YEAH. How are you feeling now, my lovely internet friend? You can send me an e-mail anytime if you want to have a big ranty rant about anything! Or even just a chat about hot Lord of the Rings characters. Weee :)
BeantwoordenVerwijderenPs - last year I lost a whole bunch of weight and when I saw my "friends" for the first time in ages they were like "OH WOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD NOW" and it was totally awkward and mean. Did I really look that shitty before? Really? Ooohh I hate people. I am not friends with these people anymore though :) have a good day my preeetttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Awww Heath Ledger... I've had a long running crush on him also. Perving on pretty boys always makes me feel better too (I tend to marathon Supernatural when I'm down. Partly coz I love the show and partly coz Jensen Ackles is totally hot).
BeantwoordenVerwijderenI think people just automatically think 'you've lost weight' = compliment/something you'd be stoked to hear, it's a symptom of the society we live in. I'm sure none of them mean that they think you looked bad before though (people often don't think about the flip side of the comments they make). I think you're gorgeous no matter what your size and I'm sure the people around you do too. People who know what you've been going through should probably be able to figure out that its stress related weight loss though.
Sam? Really?! Haha just kidding ;) I fully agree with you on Heath Ledger. SO. HOT. Especially in Ten Things I Hate About You. *melting*
BeantwoordenVerwijderenAnyway, I can understand you. Whenever I love weight and people start telling me that I look so good etc I go mad. I mean, why am I supposed to look better if I lose weight? Back in the 50s or 40s a bit of healthy fat here and there was DESIRABLE (insert here sentence about "those were women blah blah blah"). Bah. Society, you're so stupid sometimes (and sometimes, all the times).
ugh I know what you mean about the people who think they are doing you a favor, it actually makes me feel worse and angry at the same time because you really do feel like you have been walking around like a fucking lardass IN PUBLIC! and when you lose the weight people are like "oh ok you are acceptable now!" fuck them, seriously, well not like physically, but you know what i mean ;) people are such inconsiderate assholes. sorry for swearing so much it's just i totally know what you mean and it gets my bloog boiling too haha
BeantwoordenVerwijderenohhh good thing you posted a bunch of hot men after that rant, deffinitely evens out the mood, oh my oh my heath ledger!!! he was such a handsome and sexy man! gorgeous and i have a few crushes in game of thrones too, the imp is one handsome man and jon snow! omg! I'd brush those curls all night if he wanted me too lol
love your posts! keep em coming!
xx
Anita