maandag 30 juli 2012

Why'd ya have to go and make things so complicated

Yes, I actually quoted an Avril Lavigne song for a posttitle. Simply because

Life's like this

OKAY I'll stop now. I'm actually more of a sk8erboi fan (or however she spelled/numbered it). But I know, like, 5 songs from her or something. Something with "it's a damn cold night", another song that's all about "HEY YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND" or something and than there's a song with her running around a certain city avoiding her boyfriend. Something with "all I wanna do is mess around" and "WHAT. THE HELL.". Yes, her lyrics are quite deep. The only thing I really liked about her was her marriage with the kinda cute Sum 41 frontman. Pop-punk teen queen/king, kind of adorable. I'm more of a Sum 41 girl than Avril.

After dedicating more sentences to Avril Lavigne than I actually planned/wanted, I want to start off with thanking you wonderful people. After pouring my heart out on my blog, with my "deepest, darkest secrets" out in the open, I got wonderful support from my readers. And I can't tell you how much it meant/means to me. Even from people I don't know all that well I get beautiful comments/emails about how much they love my blog and how I'm "an inspiring individual", it's just wonderful. While I am going through a hard time in my life and I have moments where I just want to roll up into a ball and softly cry myself to sleep (sniffles), moments when I check my email and see wonderful messages from people I like and respect really give me a kick and make me smile. Apart from the fact that it gives me a good feeling that all kinds of people seem to care enough about me to leave a little "how are you?" message, it's also very nice to notice that when I open myself up to people, people seem to respond with the same care and interest with which I wrote the post. That you "get" what I'm trying to write and convey.

I'm going through all kinds of confusing things. First, the emotions. I have good days and bad days. I have days where I mostly feel okay but I suddenly take a monstrous plunge down and end up bawling for a good 20 minutes. I'm very happy that I'm living with my mum now because she's a great hugger and she knows she can cheer me up a bit with watching movies with me and making healthy veggie soups. So far, I've watched  "500 days of Summer", "Milk", "Transamerica", "Awakenings", "It's a wonderful life", "50 first dates", "The green mile" and I think I'm forgetting one. All wonderful movies and reminding you about how my former boyfriend didn't want to watch movies with me for the past year or so, I kinda forgot how much I love movies. I don't want to forget about myself anymore. I only have one life and I want to live it the way that makes me happy.

I'm not "in love" with him anymore. But when you've spent so much time together, shared so many experiences and memories, the love you feel doesn't just go away. It would be easier if it did but it doesn't. But he has been my best friend and first love, and I don't feel like I want to completely shut him out of my life. I do, however, want to build my life around me from now on, he is not the most important thing in my life anymore.

You probably won't believe that this is actually happening but I have an outfit for you gals. YES, an emo post WITH clothing! One of my newest buys at the sales this summer, the harem pants. I never would've thought I would actually buy one but GODDAMN this thing is comfy, gorgeous and just plain awesome and flattering. I was always a little worried about the low crotch part of the pants because I hate it when the tops of my thighs rub together without any fabric in between but this is just the perfect fit and there's no trouble whatsoever on the crotch part! I've already worn it tons of times and I was seriously considering getting a second one just like this. I didn't but I know that this won't be the last pair of harem pants in my closet.

Also, forgive me but STOP:
also a good shot to see how low the crotch is btw, it really is the perfect fit. The baggyness is perfectly flattering, the print and colours are gorgeous, it's just great pants, man!
Little make-up tip: if you want a bright line of eyeshadow underneath or on your eyelid, get a white eyelinerpencil and draw a line. On top of the white, dab a bright color with an eyeliner brush or an 'angled brush' and you get a great result! It's also cheaper than buying all kinds of colored eyeliner. I'm a cheap Dutchie, yo.
and last, my slightly abstract flower nailart:

You are awesome, thank you again and I'll see you later!

8 opmerkingen:


    prachtig geschreve, prachtige foto's, vet grappig met dat stop hammertime en je ziet er zo goed uit miem, ik ben zo trots op je :( je bent zo volwassen ineens! en je bent m'n zus! <3

    also, harempants were MADE for you

  2. Ik vind de "liner" onder je ogen super! Goede tip :)

  3. Maybe I've already said this, but I'm happy that you find comfort in your relatives and in random, loving people across the globe too :)
    About the outfit, where should I start? These pants look wonderful on you and I love the print <3 also, your nails and make up are flawless as always (and thanks for the good tip!). And the photo of your lips is so sexy.

  4. You look adorable, those pants were made for you and you're just awesome.

    I'm glad to hear that you're getting comfort from your family (Mums are the best) and all of the people who think you're rad. I know exactly what you're going through and it sucks. The conflicting emotions, the anger, the love that doesn't just go away because this shitty thing has happened. Its awful and exhausting and yuck. And unfortunately the only thing that helps is time.And how much time is different for everyone. But it WILL get better, and in the meantime comfort movies sound like a good plan. I also recommend playing lots of Zelda...

  5. you look adorable! i am glad that you're finding your way.

    relationships are hard. i ended a long one not too long ago, and even though there was no bad blood, it was still hard, and the love doesn't really ever go away.

  6. Loving the pants!!
    Ik zoek zelf al een aantal maanden naar een perfecte harembroek, maar helaas zonder succes.

    Keep up the blogging girl, ik lees ze graag ;).

  7. You look perfect!! I so dig your hair. gosh where on earth do you shop??

    So sorry to hear about your breakup seeing as I haven't been on your blog in a while! But it seems like you're doing well, keep at it :)

  8. Ah, I hope your ups and downs even out. Those are the worst, when you think you're having a good day and then suddenly something happens and BAM... tears. (Although, I think part of those days is just being a girl. At least, for me it is. The joys of being female... ;) ) I wish I could say something better than that, but you already have a good head on you, plus your sister and mom (by the way, your family is probably one of my favorites that I blog-stalk, ever. Seroiusly, you are all so adorable!) to cheer you up. So, I hope you just keep having better and better days. And keep being awesome.

    On to the outfit: how do you always make everything look so good? Those pants are way too cute on you (did you and Annebeth buy harem pants at the same time? :-D) Your makeup is GORGEOUS. As are you. And I need to paint my nails like yours now.
    I hate it when my thighs rub together without fabric between them, too. Which is why I love fall; tights, yay!
    I feel like this whole comment is really sporadic. It's one of those days.

    Have a beautiful day!