EMO post: The kids are alright

I've been neglecting my writing and blogging lately and I want to STOP DOING IT, DAMN IT. Because I've met so many wonderful people through blogging and I really enjoy writing. But sometimes with school, family and other things my mind wanders off and I forget about writing and blogging. This will end now! I have some stuff to talk about. Since I haven't done a personal EMO post in a while I thought it was a good time to get the emo show on the road again.

As some of my readers will know, I've had a pretty... eventful summer, to put it nicely. A parent died, a longterm relationship ended nastily and dramatically, it was pretty epic in a terrible soap opera kind of way. After dealing with that crap head on for a couple of months (Thank Jebus for summer vacations) life really got started again and I realised the world hasn't really stopped turning. In fact, the world didn't even change a bit. The bus I took before all that stuff happened is still the same bus. The library I went to before is still the same library. School hasn't changed, cities haven't changed, family and friends haven't changed. But I have. That's the scariest part of it all. You can only break up with a person once (okay technically you can do it many times but I don't roll that way) and you can only lose a person to illness once. You know that life goes on and that everything, how heartbreaking and terrible it might be at first, passes. But the thing you can never really prepare yourself for is how life changes you.

Even though you try so hard to hold on to yourself and the person you believe you are, slowly but surely life creeps up on you and starts tweaking the little nuts and bolts in your head. Before you know it you forget what it actually was you used to believe in and what your particular thoughts on certain issues were. I could never imagine how some (granted, life changing) events can change you to your core. Not only your opinions and ideals but.. I'm not quite sure how to describe it. Some fundamental feeling you always carry with you about yourself. That, if there's anything you can be sure about, it's who you are. Realising that the person you are is eternally changing and that you're not the same person now as you were a month ago is a very strange thing. Now I understand all those "before you can be wise and old you first have to be young and stupid" things. While it's hella creepy to realise that I'm changing as a person it's also kind of awesome, now that I think about it. It means that, whatever is happening, I'm not standing still. It means that I'm learning and every step of the way I'm coming a little closer to becoming the person I'm "meant" to be. To quote Carl Sagan: "I don't know where I'm going... but I'm on my way."

Not only have I changed in mind/spirit, I've changed quite a bit on the outside too. I'm not sure when and how it happened but I lost some weight. I'm not even sure how to feel about it. When I look in the mirror I see the same girl as always. If the clothes I had didn't suddenly turn out to be two sizes too big I probably wouldn't have noticed a thing. People tell me how different I look and how "GREAT" this is. I'm still not sure how to feel about that, either. Is simply losing weight a good thing? Because I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't have a motivation. Probably just a hell of a lot of stress, a bit more excercise (when I'm pissed off I go for walks/runs with my dog until my legs go numb, basically) and that's it. I always feel strange when people go into hyper happy mode simply because I lost some weight. Honestly, it makes me feel more insecure rather than anything else. To notice how much people care about something as silly as your weight and how different they treat you because of that, bah, humbug. I knew that people were silly but this is just a little depressing. HULLO THERE, fat-shaming! I know they mean well and that being skinnier is a generally good thing in our society but mostly, it just kind of baffles and irritates me. On the other hand, having smaller boobs is a lot more practical when buying bras. Which is also kind of annoying to think about because you'd think that people with bigger boobs would be more in need of BRAS. Going from an E to D cup and still only being able to find 2 bras in your cupsize in a big ass lingerie store with affordable stuff... say it with me: BAH, humbug.

Conlusion: I'm getting used to the new me. Change is fucking terrifying. But I think I kind of like it, too. Next post will be an outfit again and, if you're lucky, pink hair again! PARTY TIME, EXCELLENT!

Pink and polka dots

This is the best coat, probably, in the history of all coats. It's one of the many gorgeous things I got from Sabina at the blogsale and I'm a little sad it's already too cold to wear it. It's absolutely perfect for kind of crappy inbetween weather in spring and autumn and it sure brightens up those dull days. The fit is gorgeous and retro, while I'm a little less into the whole vintage look lately I still can't resist a beautiful A line skirt (or coat). Or a nicely cut pencilskirt. If shit is beautiful, shit is beautiful! One of the most timeless, beautiful pieces in my entire wardrobe fo sho. Feast your eyes, my darlingz!

Perfection, right?

I'm really digging pink lately. Probably because of the blonde hair. PINK AND BLONDE FO EVAH.

I'm still blonde now but I already got some purple and pink dye on the way. I've had some bright colors here and there mixed in my dark hair but I've never had a full head of bright pink hair. Now that the days are getting colder and darker it's time to turn things up a notch again and go full lumpy space or bubblegum princess. Blonde has been lots of fun but I can't wait to be strange again. :-D

Imma leave you with this:

Have you read "Fifty shades of Grey"? What did you think of it? Fun and hot or just some bad writing? "I'm fifty shades of Fucked Up" sounds like a freaking classic quote, that's all I know. This dude is pretty funny and I think WE ALL WONDER what Dr. Zoidberg, Yoda, Smeagol or Mr. Mackey sound like when they're getting their nasty on. Not suitable for work or kids but really freaking hilarious. Hope you like it and have a great weekend!

Family time

Last saturday my sis, her boyfriend, my mom and me FINALLY got around to taking a little trip to go see my brother, his wife and my nephew. He's almost six months old now and I can't believe how much he has grown since the last time I saw him. Then again, he IS a baby, so he'll be doing a lot more of that. Growing, I  mean. :-D We had an amazing time and I squeezed, hugged and kissed my nephew until the very end of our stay. He was amazingly sweet and lucky for us he loves attention and hugs! I'm not sure how it works but when I look at my nephew I instantly feel some kind of connection, almost like I "realise" he shares my blood. I have the same kind of feeling with my nieces. Kids in the family are always great but since my oldest brother lives so freaking far away I always had a little bit of heartache when it came to family stuff. I'm crazy about my nieces and I try to skype with them when I can but life gets in the way and the seven hour time difference doesn't help much either. But now that I have a nephew a little closer nearby I feel so happy when I think about the fact that I'll be able to form a real connection with him a little earlier, as his aunt. It's a beautiful thing, family.

The day consisted of listening to good music on the way to my brother, eating some great food (our family gatherings are never complete without some sort of vegetable soup), lots of hugging and singing Disney songs. "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" FTW! The day ended with my awesome sister in law giving me her graphics tablet, which I will be checking out into GREAT detail next weekend when I have a bit more time. Needless to say I was over the moon with this gift, it'll bring editing and photoshopping my pictures to a whole new level. Possibly some drawing, too. AH, ALL THE OPTIONS. Before I go on an arts-nerd rant, now get ready for the cutest babeh ever. Meet my nephew, Daniel.

If that's not an expression that says "HAPPY CAMPER OVAH HIYAH" I don't know what does. To be completely honest, my ovaries were shaking the whole time I was hugging his little body and kissing his soft cheeks. There's a momster inside me, I can feel it. Hazel from Girls with Slingshots style.

How can you not feel at least a little extra soft when you look at this face?

That's right, you can't!

Getting buried under auntie snuggles!

My gorgeous brother and proud papa!

Proud mama!

The cuteness. IT HURTS.

Of course, jokes were made about how happy my nephew was to lean into my boobs. After all, he's a baby. He doesn't need much more than boobs, food (mixed together or not) and love.

He was also incredibly fascinated by our hair and particularly the pulling of it. He's already pretty strong, I can tell you that. But we were basically just too happy to care.

Foods!

Tea, quiche, pumpkin soup and cake mixed with the company of your beautiful family: life doesn't get much better than this. My happiness was shown in my outfit choice: FLORALS on FLORALS:

How stereotypically Dutch can you go: an orange windmill in the background with lots of water. And a blonde babe, OH YEAH. All we're missing is a couple of tulips, a honk of cheese and some weed.

dress: new look
cardigan and leggings: H&M
necklace: gift from my dad
boots: kickers
bracelet: dads

Hope you got your dose of cute baby for the day, I know I did!

Wonderwoman

Finally, a real people outfit on my blog again and not some crazy ass dress-up thing! This is the shirt I bought at the nerd convention. Obviously I have been wearing and will be wearing this baby all the time. Being a geek and a feminist at the same time while being a little witty? Sounds good, sister. I also think that this might be the first almost all black outfit I ever posted on my blog. Now that my hair is blonde (and it won't be for much longer, I'm really lusting after some bright hair again) I feel like I can wear darker colors more easily without feeling boring. These liquid leggings are pure heaven too. After wearing leggings as pants I can hardly go back to wearing actual pants. I know people have a lot of beef with leggings as pants but for realz, leggings are the perfect way to show off your butt without flattening it because of tight, thick fabric. Instead of squeezing your ass, leggings hug your ass! If that's not some freakin' fashion poetry I don't know what is. :-D A little tip: if you're on a manhunt, do wear liquid leggings. Boys and tight pants are a good combo. And if you feel  a little cold, overexposed or if your leggings are a little on the flimsy side: wear some thick black cotton leggings underneath. The jacket was a thrifting treasure which, if I recall correctly, didn't cost more than 10 euro. It's super cosy and warm and I've been wearing it non stop since it became colder. Plus I can't resist the rock 'n roll vibe.

My life has been pretty sweet. Good feedback on my photography from my teacher, smooth sailing in school and I might have met a nice fella. I'll keep you posted. ;-)

I'm pointing at the drawing on my shirt, not my boobs. Just to be clear.

denim shirt: JBC
wonderwoman shirt: F.A.C.T.S. merchandise
leggings: Veritas
boots: torfs
necklace: sisters

This is Halloween: party 2012

While I was a total boring mofo staying home on the exciting night of halloween (which isn't all that exciting here in Belgium, halloween hardly exists over here) I did have a chance to get my halloween on at a cosy party at my sis' place last weekend! Good food, carving some badass pumkins, good company, a terrible horror movie and tasty booze, 't was all good! Though I had a really stubborn pumpkin and no talent for carving whatsoever. And I'm not going to recommend "The Woman in Black", the movie we watched. Maybe it was really bad because we were talking throughout the whole movie, maybe we were talking throughout the whole movie because it was bad. Either way, I was disappointed. It looked gorgeous, there was definitely some potential there but it didn't deliver. I was pleasantly surprised by Daniel Radcliffe though. Not so much by his acting performance as by his looks kicking it up a notch or two. I never thought of him as an attractive guy in the Harry Potter movies (total Ron fangirl over here) but I've grown to appreciate him. Seeing him say all kinds of sensible things about same sex marriage is a big YES too. Sensible dudes, I like 'em.

Anyhoo, I dressed up as Marceline the vampire queen from Adventure Time! One of the sweetest cartoons out there and Marceline just kicks ass like no other vampire does.

Creepy ass picture and proof that I was actually Marceline and not just a random vampire. CHECK THE CARDI.

Chillin' with Black Swan (my sis, obvi) and Cruella De Vil. As a vampire queen I needed the umbrella, otherwise this shit happens.

And I wouldn't be a good blogger if I didn't think of the details.

THAT'S RIGHT, CREEPY NAILS.

Pretty cool vampire-y pictures, no? :-D It was never actually my intention to be creepy but the fake blood (pardon, shade of red! Marceline don't drink no blood!), the deathly complexion, fangs and wig really did a good job with getting some halloween vibes going. I'm also so incredibly white-ass myself I barely needed any white make up to make me look this pale. Maybe I should just make being a vampire part of my future career.

Some mood shots:

Spooky food! Those halloween pastries were tasty as hell!

Black Swan slaughtering her pumpkin.

Beautiful pirate Brenda torturing her pumpkin.

Vampire sister Sabina! Not only were we equally VAMPALICIOUS (yes I totally just said that) we both had the nastiest pumpkins of the bunch. Proof:

That's not right, man. I can tell you that.

Some of the carved pumpkins and lovely decoration! Mine is the snaggletoothed goblin in the middle, third from the right. Not my best creative work. The big ass pumpkin on the left is my sister's, pretty awesome right? And of course Jack Skellington on the right, carved by Eline aka Cruella. She could have a future in the pumpkin carving industry.

Black Swan, another beautiful pirate and Catwoman!

Worm sammich! It was actually just sliced hotdog with ketchup. Tasty and nasty looking! My sis also made a very tasty pumpkin soup from all the carvings. I ate it all, the day after the party. :-D After dinner the brave ones among us took a walk down to the cemetery to take some moody outfit shots for Sabina's blog.

Awesomely creepy picture.

Obviously I had to come to the cemetery. It's one of my favorite hangouts.

Being creepy!

I hope you liked my little report on our party and that you had a good halloween yourself! And because halloween will always make me think of The Nightmare Before Christmas, a movie I watched at least a million times when I was a kid, I'm going to leave you with "This is Halloween". HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN!